Surgery here we come

I say surgery here we come with feelings of anticipation for a better future and feelings of fright for the worst case scenario.  The trach fistula has been colonized with MRSA and Staph which has been wreaking havoc on Meg for months.  After we had to cancel a long awaited trip to Minnesota's Mayo Clinic due to her waking up with every color coming out of her trach it was the last bout that her ENT could stand either.  The decision was made that if the infection came back after the last treatement that ended in early December the stoma would have to be closed. We have been running Tobi Nebs for over a month and had to start the bactrim again 2 weeks ago and it is  not doing much.  Surgery is set for the second Wednesday in January to sew her up.  The procedure requires intubation which is what makes me worry - we dont want to end up back where we came from and dont want to face "big" decisions.  She could never go through a trach again - we would not allow it for her.    Christmas came and went fast - it was very wierd to have a nurse in the house in the morning in the middle of our Christmas.  The boys were wigged out.  Better that I got to sleep though instead of being like a zombie in front of the Christmas tree.  I had to explain that to them so they could see that it was a necessary component of life for us to function and it is not what we "love" either.   We have a hearing coming up for nursing hours soon - had to appeal a riduculous decision that came down right before Christmas.  It is always something! Praying for a successful surgery and a great 2011 for Megan.